Project: Painting 52
Let’s get to the ugly truth: I’m one of those who love to start projects but struggle with finishing them. It’s even harder when it comes to painting, where I sometimes already struggle with the start: If I don’t pick up the brushes constantly, I develop a strange fear. I look at at them in the corner of my room and I feel them staring back at me rebukingly, but I’m afraid to do what I actually want to do: paint. As if I could only fail my own expectations and then something really horrible will happen (monsters?) and so it’s safer to not start at all. The fact that I still haven’t finished project xy strengthens the case that I can not start something new by now. But at that point I have those new projects in my mind and it seems impossible to focus on an “old” one. Well. So I wait for the day when I feel magically “ready” to finish the old project (which will never happen) and in the meantime I stay paralyzed, not able to make a move in any direction. And I hate it. New projects keep popping up in my mind all the time, I can literally see them when I’m at work, and riding the bus, and brush my teeth, and when I talk to someone or look at a tree. They never leave me. And I feel bad for being this cowardly little something that I am. They deserve much better.
Since I cannot put my beloved projects into someone else’s head who might have the discipline and confidence to just go and do it, I will have to start working on them by myself. And maybe they will become nothing more but sketches and are never really finished. Maybe I don’t like them anymore. Or maybe nobody else likes the idea. And maybe they will turn out crap. But! I will never know, if I don’t try. So here goes my little get-over-your-own-lazy-bum-project: I want to be able to show you something I painted / scribbled / did-whatever-out-of-whatever-materials once every week. So I better get something done over the week so I don’t have to post a blank paper for you… Needless to say: photography doesn’t count.
I chose my deadline to be every sunday (for sunday is still a long way to go this week ;-) Maybe you also have some things you would like to do (or do more) but never quite get yourself to it – feel free to join me. For me, this is a big experiment. First of all, because I usually never show my works (and even probably unfinished !gasp! sketches !!gasp!!) to people. And I’m sorry in anticipation for the outcomes of this… But hey! It will be fun! :-)
Have a nice rest of the week.